Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
