Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
