T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
