real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
