I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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