They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
