The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
