Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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