I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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