What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
