Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
