maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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