just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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