wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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