it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
