We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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