Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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