just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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