see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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