good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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