flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
