They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
