To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
