sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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