oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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