the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
