Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
