You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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