im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
