think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
