She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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