So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
