You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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