So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
