Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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