I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
