Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
