ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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