He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
