I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
