Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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