We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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