I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
