i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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