if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she looked like the before picture.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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