I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
