whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
