Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks