I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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