i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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