Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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