The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize