Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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