Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
