she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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