am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
